pushback

his mind pushed
and pushed
and pushed.
all the while his body
pushed back
from within,
said through its heaviness,
its darkness,
     not gonna work, buddy,
     give it up, let go, let in,
     stop pushing.
     just
     stop.

because he could not
stop himself,
he continued to push
but
because his inner self
would
just
not
be pushed,
a stopping
is what nonetheless
took place.

in that stopped place
he carried on
with the usual outer business
of the day—
the filling of the gas tank
in his car, the clearing out
of winter from the garden, the repairing
of a pipe cover knocked to the ground.

also in that stopped place,
the reading of the next chapters
of a book, chapters whose story
was so-called fiction
but which moved him to nonfiction tears

and that wash of tears

was the sweet flood of movement
that pushing had blocked,
that stopping
allowed,
that left him scoured clean
and wide open,
light and even-keeled.

—dotty seiter

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Notes about poem and art:
• “pushback,” a portrait of somatic intelligence, is both a stand-alone poem and the sequel to “listing.”
• Another photo from Jay and Christine’s travels offered itself up as a reference for my Make Yourself at Home series. What I have named Arabooliestraße represents another location in Innsbruck. It strikes me as a playful interpretation of the alignment that is alluded to at the end of “pushback.” The title was inspired by a children’s picture book entitled The Araboolies of Liberty Street by Sam Swope ©1989, a favorite in our family when my kids were growing up. It is no longer in print but is a staple in many libraries. If your local branch doesn’t have it, they can almost certainly secure it for you through an interlibrary loan. You’ll love it!